Jokes

Elephant Stew

INGREDIENTS 1 elephant 2 rabbits (optional) salt and pepper DIRECTIONS Cut elephant into bite size pieces. This should take about 2 months. Add enough brown gravy to cover. Cook over hot fire for 3 weeks. This will serve 3800 people. If more are expected, the two rabbits may be added, but do this only if Continue reading

Norwegian Navy

Why are there bar codes on every Norwegian naval vessel? So that when they return to port, they can scan da navy in

The Twins

Twin boys were born, but due to circumstances, they needed to be adopted out.  One son was adopted by a family in Spain, the other by an Egyptian family and they never knew about each other. The boys grew up, learned that they were twins, decided to meet, and planned a reunion in Paris.  The Continue reading

Is that a chicken joke!!???

A city fellow had just moved out to the country and decided that he needed some animals, so he decided to walk up and down his road to see what his neighbors had. The first farm he came across had a bunch of chickens running in the yard. “Say farmer” the man yells, “Would you Continue reading

The miracle of technology

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. ‘May I see the new baby?’ I asked ‘Not yet,’ She said ‘I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.’ Continue reading

Osama’s first day in heaven….

After dying a grisly death in a fire fight, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he was greeted by George Washington. “How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry came up from behind, “You wanted to end the American’s liberty, so they Continue reading

A PC Joke

  An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Canadian, a Frenchman, an Eskimo, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, Continue reading

A Panda

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!” The panda yells Continue reading

No Huns, no writs….

Outside a small Macedonian village close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of the site of significant historical developments spanning more than 2,000 years. When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the Order of the Perpetual Watch dies, Continue reading

Why are Fire Engines Always Red?

Because fire engines have four wheels and eight firefighters. 4 + 8 = 12 There are 12 inches in a ruler Queen Elizabeth is a ruler Queen Elizabeth is also a ship The ship sails the oceans The oceans are filled with fish The fish have fins The Finns fought the Russians The Russians are Continue reading

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