Last Sunday was All Saints Day.  It was tradition at Faith Lutheran in Elko for us to write the names of those who had died during the year, and Pastor would read the names and offer prayers during the service.

It then became my own tradition to remember my patients who had died during the year.  I kept a list and those were the names I would write during the service.

But, I am no longer in private practice.  See, it became too painful to watch my long-term patients, those with whom I had bonded, become sick and die-and so I left to do hospital-only medicine.  As a hospitalist, my contact with those I serve is necessarily of much shorter duration: days instead of years.  When they are well enough to leave the hospital, they return to the care of their primary care doctor.

So, All Saints this year was bittersweet:  certainly I had patients die...but because our interaction was so limited, rarely did they become part of my subconscious......

....except Mrs. B, whose death from breast cancer was horrible and protracted, and made me urge readers to tell their families what their wishes regarding rescussitation might be....

.....and Mr. R who died of a massive hemorrhagic stroke, and whose dead eyes seemed to accuse me in my inability to heal all wounds....

....and John Doe, a handsome Hawaiian man whose need for methamphetamine was to die for.....

...and Mr. L., who made it clear that MY wishes regarding "code status" were not HIS wishes...and that his overrode mine!

and finally, Mrs. Y, a 95 year old woman who came to er because her doctor heard "something funny" on her lung exam.  Laughing and joking, walking in under her own power, she went suddenly unresponsive, and died. No heroics (her wish) and no drama. Laugh, joke....and die.

I guess I didn't escape afterall.

	For all the saints, who from their labors rest, 
	who thee by faith before the world confessed, 
	thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest. 
	Alleluia, Alleluia! 

	Thou wast their rock, their fortress, and their might; 
	thou Lord, their captain in the well-fought fight; 
	thou in the darkness drear, their one true light.
	Alleluia, Alleluia!